Sex is hugely complicated. People use it in so many ways. It is the flush of first love, a hedonistic indulgence, and a weapon of war. To understand its complexity it is useful to think of it as having three layers. 1. Reproduction Reproduction is clearly an important part of sex. It is part of the biological drive to perpetuate the species. When we are fertile, hormones pump through our systems that turn our attention to sexual desires. The promise of sexual pleasure can be seen as luring people into reproduction. But that is not the whole story. Like many other species, human beings desire and have a lot of sex which has nothing to do with making babies. Sex has several roles in human society. 2. Intimacy & Emotional Needs A key role of sex is revealed by looking at when people crave it. Small children touch themselves when they're upset. Elderly widows report being swamped by desire when their partner dies. People also report similar experiences at all the ages in between. People report an increase in libido when they lose jobs, when relationships break up, when they move cities, or their best friend re-evaluates their role in their lives. The craving for love & affirmation often translates into a craving for sex. Some people also report that other feelings come through their sexual systems. Being angry, tense and stressed can also come through in a sexual energy. People's emotional needs play out through their sexual systems. 3. Sex as a Symbolic Ritual Sex is also a social ritual. It has a learnt cultural meaning. Western culture has competing scripts about heterosexual sex. The old script is that sex is about dominance and submission. Penetration as an act of dominance. Being penetrated as an act of submission. In heterosexual relationships it was a symbolic ritual that played out a man's dominance over his wife. In the 1970s feminists encouraged women to 'get on top' to change the meaning of sex. They aimed to change the symbolism from something men did to women, to something that a couple did together. Both scripts exist today.  On the one hand 'get fucked' is still the most aggressive insult in our language.   Invading armies use mass rape as a weapon of war. Some football teams boost themselves as men by sexually demeaning   women. At a lower level, some of these ideas filter into everyday people's sex lives. On the other hand, a lot of people see sex as a mutual activity between equals.   It is a fun and pleasurable activity that people of the same status do together. Heterosexual scripts about sex shape understandings of gay and lesbians sex. They affect the practice of it too. To see how, read on!

Three Layers of Sex

Contents Introduction A New Theory of Homosexuality Three Layers of Sex Innate Nature How we fall in love | Physical traits Cultural Lens Test 1:  Gay & Lesbian History Marrying for Love & Emergence   of Homosexuals Invention of Opposite Sex & Era of Oppression 1870-1970s The Dark Years 1970s & Beginning of Liberation Test 2: Current GLBTQ Diversity -New Gender - New! Un-spot-able | Coming Out Queens | Butch from Birth | Unscripted Relationships Sex & Relationships 3 Layers of Sex | Lesbians vs Gay Men |  Sharedness or Gender? Weaving Individual Identities Test 3:  Biological Studies of                  Homosexuality Pesky Persistence of Non- Reproductive Evolutionary Advantage of Diversity in  Bonding Types

Start Quick Tour How people fall in love Invention of Opposite Sex

This research project treats the second layer of sex as being the key to understanding same-sex love.

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Desire is often experienced as a lust after bodies. But the timing suggests it has an emotional source.

"There is no aphrodisiac like loneliness." - The Whitlams

In ancient Greece it was accepted that men would sleep with other men, with their wives and with slaves.  However men had to use different sexual positions with each different class of person. There were sexual positions that were acceptable between men.   But if two men used the positions that were reserved for a man and his wife it became deeply stigmatized.  The man who had taken on the wifely role was considered to have been humiliated and belittled.

Many fetishes are about playing with the symbolic meanings of sex.

Individuals/sub-cultures also have their own more detailed story about sex.