Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual - Research on origins of Homosexuality

The first part of the new theory of sexuality is about the way people fall in
love. Think about how people often describe falling in love. From a straight
woman’s perspective:

‘

Opposites attract. He completes me.

‘I’ve never met someone like me

before. We keep

going to say

the

same thing at the same time.

We are soulmates.’

These are two quite different ways of emotionally connecting. One is looking
for difference and completion. The other is looking for sharedness and under-
standing.

Most relationships are probably a mix of the two. But consider the possibility
that people seek different mixes. Some people like a lot of difference and
complementarity in their relationships, while others want more identification
and understanding.

People are likely to have their strongest connections with
people who want the same kind of bond they do. Comple-
mentary bonders with complementary bonders. Identifying
bonders with identifying bonders.

People who are strongly ‘identifying bonding’ are more likely to fall in love with
other ‘identifying bonders’ of the same sex. The shared experience of both
being women or both being men is part of the connection.

A New Look Spectrum of Sexuality

In the biological sciences most traits occur on a bell curve. There is a wide
range of experience. Most people are around the middle. There are smaller
numbers of people at each end of the spectrum. If we assume the bonding
mix follows the usual pattern, we have a new spectrum of sexuality.